A Warriors Journey

I’ve written this in my head thousands of times.  And for a long time it was called ‘Dear Acupuncture’, as my Acupuncture origins story is intimately woven with it. It has taken me more than 20 years of acknowledging, releasing and celebrating to now be able to share and honour the part of my life experience that is cancer.

In 2001 my life changed in ways I had never experienced before.  Time began to slow down after finding the lump.  A surreal journey begins; knowing something was not right; hearing ‘its probably a cyst’; ‘you are young’; ‘there’s nothing to worry about’; there are appointments, scans and a biopsy.

Time passes in a blur.

Then I hear, “you have cancer”.

Time stops.

I cannot hear.  

I go back again.  

This time I hear a bit more.  

Yes its cancer.  

They don’t know what type.  

Time seems to speed up now.

Surgery is booked the following week.  

They won’t know how successful or even what type until its tested.  

A week in hospital.  

Another two weeks until I find out if it is the cancer that will kill me or the one that probably won’t kill me. 

I come home to Galway to recuperate.  I’m in hotel in Galway when I see the Twin Towers, destroyed.

I return to London the next day. Two days after the world began grieving, I get my diagnosis.



It’s Stage 3 cancer. 

All margins are clear, so no more surgery.  

I am referred for Chemotherapy and Radiotherapy.  My life becomes a series of never ending appointments, blood tests, temperature checks and results.

They tell me I am lucky, though I certainly didn’t feel lucky any of the time.  

8 monthly cycles of chemotherapy.

6 weeks of radiotherapy.

My consultant referred me to The Breast Cancer Haven.  

I found Acupuncture.

I found Meditation.

It is a lonely, intense and unique journey.

Yet you cannot go through it alone.

You don’t want PITY.

And you don’t want to see other peoples fear that you might die.

You want, more than anything, some NORMAL.

You want to know support is there when you need it.

You want enough space to be just a little crazy while you are fighting the fight of your life.

Cancer took me on the toughest journey.  

It took me to desolate dark depths.  

From those depths, I found courage.

I found hope.

Cancer is no Hero’s journey.  

It is the Warrior’s Journey.  

And you fight.

You fight with everything you got until either you, or it wins.

——-

Inspired by my journey with Breast Cancer, I have created Meditate in Pink with National Breast Cancer Research Institute, to contribute to the community of research, raising awareness and fund-raising. Meditate in Pink is a weekly guided virtual meditation session during the month of October. 

I’m delighted to offer this Meditation series.  Charity events provide us with the opportunity to unite with our collective desire to remember loved ones who have passed, and to support those we know on the journey now, and to celebrate those who have completed their Warriors Journey.